What If!

 In the middle of creating a desired me, I got lost... Then on my way back to the safe me, I got rebuffed...

I do support the positive change, but at the same time, I refuse to change! 

I don't want to let go of my traits even though I hate them...

Yes, I'm tired of the unforeseen anxiety and all the insecurities, but... I'm timorous if it disappears, I won't recognize me!

I am afeared if this agony set me free, I'll lose individuality!

So many What-Ifs got me hostage...

What if I get stuck there! Between not giving up and not getting up!

What if I needed to quit but at the same time I need to persist!

What if it kept hurting and I kept getting hurt!

What if it's true! That I am not what I thought I am or what I'm supposed to be!

What if this is what's gonna make me through it but it has to be this hard, this sore, this agonizing!

What if I kept wondering if I will have an answer but still not...