Holding on

 

I m still trying, trying to face it without falling for it.. 

It keeps killing me, hunting me, stopping me from being me.. But I still stand tall..

There's times when I run out of energy, fall apart, bury under what hunts me.. Nevertheless I keep resisting, hoping for it to end..

As much as it tries to make surrender, hate myself, feel like no one can stay longer where I am at.. convincing me to give up because I am only human, and humans can't hold it that long, but I did.. The fact that I survived every time, it's what keeps me going.. 

Yes I survived! Not only once, not twice, but every single time it comes after me..

I may get weak at a point, lose it all.. But it won't last long, I get my power back and rise from it like it never happened..

At this times while I m writing this down...  it's pulling me back, dragging me down, to be its victim again... But I m not letting it do it, even if I have nothing to hold on to right now.. and  physically not in a condition to do so but I still have my strength to not let it get over me.. and I'll always do..

I m beyond tired, beyond sick, beyond empty.. But holding on.